I'm numbering this because I have the feeling I may need to do this again, although I hope I learn to think first and comment later.
Over the past few days, I've been trying to find if there are other adoptive parents with Korean children out here on the internet. After spending some time searching, I did find a few. Most are the blogs of parents at the front end of their adoption journey, most waiting for a referral for a child.
This week's news about the dramatic changes in Korean adoption policy has obviously affected many of these families. I found several sites on which parents shared their frustration and sadness. I found myself thinking that for the mothers of these children, it was a stay of execution of sorts. And a signal that perhaps South Korea was finally taking an interest in their situation and might finally start focusing some resources on helping them to keep their children.
There's no question that there's hypocrisy in my perspective. Easy for me to tell new parents to think of their children's first families - we have children already. Commenting that South Korea's policy change might be a good thing was insensitive to those who have grown attached to Korea and who already may be well aware of the need to acknowledge and support the mothers of their children. Right thought, wrong time and place.
To those I may have offended - mea culpa. Your journeys and mine have intersected at very different points, and I should have simply kept my comments on those posts to myself. I hope, though, that you will understand my motivation was not to lecture. It was to focus attention on the forgotten women in South Korea who may see a little glimmer of hope in this new policy.
A special thanks to Kansas Family, who emailed me following my comment with an apology that I should have been extending to her, both for the email and for posting her additional thoughts here.