The Interview Meme

This is really bad. Three months ago the egomaniac in me asked to participate in Susan's interview meme. Three months ago! This should give you an idea of what a disaster my life has been recently!

The egomaniac wins, though. This meme is a little different than most, because you don't just answer the questions and then pass them on as is - you customize them to the people who want to participate by getting to know them a little, through their blogs or other conversations.

But here goes - and if you'd like to join in, let me know and I'll post some questions I'd like to ask you! Instructions are at the bottom.

1. You have one child who is about to leave the nest and one who will be with you for a while longer. How do you think the dynamics in your family will change when you move from a two child to a one child home? (I ask this because I am in the same position!!)

This question is pretty much with me all the time these days. As some of you who have been reading here awhile know, our son will be graduating from high school in June. The thought of him leaving fills me with abject fear. This is the little guy that grabbed my heartstrings at National Airport in September of 1989 - how could he be 18 and ready for college already?

One of the most obvious changes to our relationship is the fact that our son views graduation as a clear dividing line between childhood and adulthood. He is making changes, like setting up his own bank account, that show he is pulling away. And he's become absolutely adamant about college-related decisions - classes to take, room decorations, even getting to school the first week (he wants a friend to take him, but so sorry, buster, you'll be driving up with the family).

I'm actually not entirely sure what to expect in the way of changes in our relationship with our daughter when The Boy is at school. The Girl's a really laid back kid, with an incredibly sunny personality. She is also busy with school and taekwondo pretty much around the clock. And did I mention she's driving? (Or how much our car insurance is at the moment???) Put those three together, and I fear the greatest change in the family dynamic will be that we won't see her at all.

And if that's the case, you know who will be left home alone - Third Dad and me. Candidly, that's where I see the greatest changes happening in our family. Third Dad and I, like any parents of teens, have focused the lions share of our time and attention on our kids - for years. We haven't done a very good job of taking time for ourselves, and truth be told it's taken a toll. But after almost 33 years, we've made the commitment to each other and are in for the count. I think we are going to have a little more time for ourselves starting in the fall.

2. If you could live anywhere other than where you are living right now, where would it be?

Vancouver. So I could drive up to Whistler whenever I wanted, or take longer trips to Golden and Banff. Or take the ferry to Vancouver Island when I was in the mood, or head down to Seattle. I absolutely love that part of the world.

3. If you could design your dream job, what would it look like?

I perform best when I have a cause and a deadline. I would therefore love a job in which I was supporting the things are important to me - like adoption reform - by educating, training, and lobbying. I love to research, problem solve, and organize, too, and would need an opportunity to do these as well.

I also really like people, and would want to work with live human beings. Working as I do in the technology industry, where people often telecommute and I can go days at a time without talking to a live human (since all communication is either by phone, instant messenger, or email), I really would like to work with PEOPLE again!

4. You impress me as being one of the most thoughtful and open-minded adoptive parents out there. If you could go back to your preadoptive or early adoptive years, is there anything you would have done differently then?

Yes, indeed. I initially didn't question the information and guidance we were given by our adoption agency. But my gut began to tell me early on that the party line might be wrong, and I wish I would have trusted my gut a lot earlier. I know now that there are families who adopted when we did and before who have open adoptions. I definitely would have pursued a more open adoption, even through our agency as an intermediary, if I had it to do over again.

5. Name one movie that changed your life (or at least your mind). And say why.

This is a hard one, because I'm not much of a movie buff. I love movies, but I tend to watch them on DVD and tend to gravitate to chick flicks - you know, "Pride and Prejudice," "Bend It Like Beckham," that kind of movie.

Which is why it's strange to say that I've never been the same since I watched the first ten minutes of "Saving Private Ryan." Really, I've never experienced anything like that from a movie. And to this day, when I imagine the horrors of war, I see those ten minutes in my mind's eye.

On the adoption front, Deann Borshay Liem's "First Person Plural" was a revelation. What moved me about this film wasn't simply the story that Deann told, it was the way she claimed her life. Very, very powerful.

So - wanna play? If so . . .

1. Identify yourself in a comment as a fellow egomaniac.
2. I'll ask you five questions. Because you are an egomaniac, you'll restrain the urge to write a novel but will answer the questions fully.
3. You will update your blog.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five new and special questions.